"BEAR"

Meet "Bear!" While I am sure you are thinking "What the Hell?' "Bear," is a very large part of our family. When my son Patrick, was born "bear" arrived in a basket of flowers. From then on, he went everywhere we went! EVERYWHERE!!! "Bear" is now seventeen, he has been bathed once! And that, as I recall, was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made! Patrick was three, and while at preschool one day my Mother and I decided to throw "bear" into the washer. "What the Hell!" Patrick got in the car asked for his "bear" and went crazy! When we got home he put him in the dirt and stepped all over him! You see, it is not just the feel of "bear" it is the SMELL! Which, so you know is ass!! Seventeen is very painful for me. I miss that little boy who went nowhere without his "bear" There is such an empty feeling inside of me. I sometimes go into the closet where "Bear" now resides, and smell him. "What the Hell" right? Somehow, I now get it! He is and always will be part of the family. And like "Bear" I will forever miss that little boy who never went anywhere without him. I LOVE YOU FOREVER, PATRICK! MOM XOXO

"DADDY"

I do not have much memory of my early childhood with my Dad. I know that he always worked at least two jobs so we could have the things that we needed, and wanted. When I was about nine we moved. It was not very far, just a new house. It was then, that my Dad and I really started to not relate very much anymore, at all. While I am not sure why, "What The Hell" it happened. I always admired my girlfriends that had a great relationship with their Fathers. I guess something about girls and their Dads. I just did not have it! Somewhere down the road, after my son Patrick was born, my Dad and I also were born. He, and I have been very close since then. He is a great, Grandfather. The boys all call him "Dad." "Dad" is now 88, soon to be 89. His mind is not as good as it used to be. I am sorry for him. He is a Marine, and does not like to not be sharp all the time. I am sad for all the years that we did not share together. But so very, very grateful for all the days we have now. He is really a funny guy! "What the Hell" I never new that! I hug and kiss him. And "What the Hell" he even tells me he loves me! Thanks Daddy, I love you too! XOXO

ANGUS MILLS (ANGY)

It is about nine years ago that I bought Angus. Some guy was standing on the side of the road holding him up like Simba! I could not resist. (big surprise) My son named him after some guy in a band. Angus, was pretty crazy in his early years! He loved to jump the fence, all 7 feet of it! Once we were on a cruise. Angus jumped, ended up in the pound, and then almost died from Kennel cough! "What the Hell" is that? It was then that he lost a little weight, in the ball area! About a year ago, he started having a very hard time breathing. I took him to the vet. Poor Angus, the vet said he had cancer, and had about six months to live! So "What The Hell" I brought his happy ass in the house to live the rest of his life with me! Since then, we have been complete companions! OH YEAH! I get up , Angus gets up, I go outside, Angus goes outside, I go to the bathroom, Angus goes with me! Just so you know, Angus can open the door by himself! My husband gets so pissed at him because he follows me wherever I go! EVERYWHERE!! "I tell him he likes me he can't help it." So I ask you, "What the Hell?" The vet missed it on this one! I am grateful!!!! I love my friend, and worry about the day when it does come. Who will follow me around and open doors for me? Who will be my "Angy Mills?" "WHAT THE HELL"

'HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I LOVE YOU'

I believe that I have already established that I love Rod Stewart! Whenever I hear the song Have I told you lately that I love you, I cry! "What The Hell" It really hits me right in the gut. We do not tell each other enough how much we love each other! And, while I believe that actions speak louder then words, I still like to hear it! I tell my husband, and my son every morning before they leave I love them. Maybe, I do not tell my husband that enough! Pat is, well, lets just call him grumpy! So I search my soul and try to figure out what I can do to make him not so grumpy! But "What the Hell" is this???? He is happy when he has toys, and hot baths, and his snuggie! He loves to smoke! "What the hell" can I do about that? He likes to stay home with his family. But doesn't have much to say to us. He would change the world if he could. Gets on his soapbox, and goes off. That makes him very happy!!! I am thinking that today when he gets home I will say "HEY, HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I LOVE YOU?" I mean "What the Hell"right? "Without change there would be no butterflies"

Whoopi Goldberg

I have always liked Whoopi! She is funny, a great actress, and I so love her on the "View" It occurred to me today that she also says "What the Hell." So did I get it from her? Or, did she somehow get it from me? Hmm. I think perhaps I got it from her but "What the Hell!" She doesn't own it right? God I need a job!!!!! Do you think I am in a rut? Now, I am blogging about Whoopi!! What the Hell is that? Unfortunately, I got married when high school was over. Not much college. I am amateur at everything, and professional at nothing!! So Whoopi what does a girl do now?? I keep thinking that one day I will wake up and POOF!!!!! I will know what it is I am on this earth for! What the hell! Maybe the "View" could do a whole show about that! Those girls seem to have the answers to most everything else. Today, I need all my angels to get around me and give me a great big push, in the right direction! Whoopi had Patrick in the movie Ghost! What the Hell! Maybe, my angel just has not landed yet! Until then.......................................

"These are a few of my favorite Things"

When my son Patrick was a baby I used to sing to him! One of those many songs was "These are a few of my favorite things." So here a few of mine. Kids! I love them all. Little ones big ones and those who worry me! "What the Hell" Puppies! God I love puppies! When we moved to the woods my Sara had nine of them! It was awesome! Nine puppies times puppy shit is not awesome!! Cats of course, What the Hell! And horses, they are so beautiful! And did I mention LOBSTER!!!!!!!! Dripping in butter!!! What the hell is that???? GOOD! I love my son, my parents. They are so awesome. My cousin Eddie who is the lobster king!!! So many favorites. So many blessings! I also have a list of things that are not my favorites. We won't go there today! But just so you know Valentines day is not on the favorite list anymore! "What the Hell"

RON

Mary, my sister is six years older than I. (you don't look it Mar) When I was about 13 or so Mary brought home a guy from college. His name was Ron. He was a big guy with a big voice, from New Jersey. I instantly fell in love with him! And so did Mary. They married on February 10, 1973. He was the heart of our family. But to me he was the best person, friend, brother in law, Dad, Son in law, and most of all husband anyone could ever know! I used to say "What The Hell" how did she find this guy? Why can't I find one like him? The answer is simple. God only made one Ron!! On January 30, 2005, Ron was sitting in a chair in the bedroom. He and my sister were talking, and getting ready to go to breakfast. Ron just fell over and died! "WHAT THE HELL" is that! He was 57 years old. Today I heard something on Oprah about the phrase "time heals all things." She said, that it is not the time that heals the pain, but what you do with the time! I thought that was so cool! I never thought my sister would survive without her Ron! Guess again! She has a bucket list, and stays right on top of it! She told me the other day that one of the things that she promised herself was that she would never cry all the time. Mary only allows herself to cry in one place. "What The Hell" What a great idea! She is awesome. However, she is my sister, if you know what I mean! I miss Ron everyday. He always made things better. No one does anything like he did. Save me a seat brother in law! "What The Hell" Love "Jenn"

"Valentines Day"

I have been married three times. While I believe in marriage, I can not, for the life of me figure it out! Some of us are very lucky with love, and some of us, well, not so lucky. We just keep on trying until it makes us, or breaks us! For me it is a job. You want to do well, and maybe get a promotion someday. So I ask you, "What the Hell" is this? NO VALENTINE ON VALENTINES DAY!!!!!! NONE, NOTHING! And, I will add that this is not the first time. "What The Hell" is that? Do we just get old and it doesn't matter to some of us? Bullshit on that! So, I am hurt AGAIN! "What The Hell" should I do? Get a divorce, leave, be mad for a week, no sex, no talking. I could go on and on! Would it matter? For the record, it is very important to take note of these special days, you know, like your 50th birthday!!!!!!! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! Where is the manual? My husband does very well when he has a manual! Me, no manual required! My Mother must have done something right! It is in tears that I leave you today. "WHAT THE HELL"

Cher

If I could turn back time. If I could find a way. I love Cher!! Always did. Love her body, her hair, mostly of course her voice! I loved her with Sonny but so much without! What The Hell is this? Not long ago I was with my friend Lani. We had several drinks, as usual. At the time Lani was fighting Breast Cancer! She said "I love Cher." Now I had known Lani for about 16 years and "What The Hell" I never new she loved Cher as much as I did! She said "Jenn lets go to Vegas and see her!" I was all about that shit! Hell Ya!! I looked over at her husband whom I have been friends with since we were kids. He shook his head. There was just not enough time left for us to make this happen! I never wanted anything more! A couple of months later my friend Lani passed away! We had such fun that nite! We were Cher! She said nothing like a women who can wear crazy, sexy, clothes and get away with it! We both loved sexy, fun clothes. "What The Hell." I miss my friend! She was so much fun. One day I will go see Cher, and Lani will be with me! "What The Hell" is this cancer? Why does it take away such good people?If I could turn back time. I would take my friend to see Cher! "What The Hell"

"Joan of Arch"

My husband says I can not be "Joan of Arch." I say "What the Hell" why not? He gets pissed because I'm always try to save things, people, animals, etc. I can not help it! When I see anything that is in need I reach out my hand! I may have told you I have three dogs, a cat, and a horse. When we moved to these woods, my husband told me that I could have the farm that I wanted! "WHAT THE HELL" You can't just change your mind! What is that shit? I love my critters! They give back all day long! And when I see one in need like the bird that was on my porch this morning I try to save it! Does that make me "Joan of Arch?" I found an old man and his wife living in filth about 8 years ago. I saved them. Is that so bad? Now, I want a "Haiti Baby" Once again I get the chorus you can not save the world. Maybe if there were more people out there like me, the world would be a better place!! I have a passion for children, old people, and animals. There is a place for me somewhere in this world! Someday I will Find it! "WHAT THE HELL" And as for the bird it is ok. SAVED!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember When?

"What the hell" is it these days? Remember when we went out and our parents did not worry? Remember when we they drove us cause none of us had a car???? Why is it so different now. Why is it when my son leaves the house in my freakin' Mustang I worry half to death? What the hell is that shit! Why is it not cool to be seen with me? But it's great when I give you money! What ever happened to "Peace, Love, and Happiness?" Remember when we used to make out and dry hump!!!! How cool was that? We had respect for one another. We danced, sang, and kissed alot. Guys had asses! You could see them in their pants and they were fine!!!! What the Hell is with these pants? Where is the ass? And why does my son need condoms? "What the Hell is That?? We did things, but we made it! I guess we were lucky! Some of us still do not have children? Self Control!!!!!! I am grateful. I might have married to many times, but "What the Hell" I say, seek until you find! Or, how bout, "Love the one your with." But you don't have to get pregnant!!! "What the Hell"

The Beach

"Life's a beach." I love that saying. When I was a little girl my Mother used to take my sister Mary, and I to the beach. It was not the best beach, kind of a big pool of funky smelling water. But what the hell! My Mother never liked the sun, or water very much but she took us! Now, my sister Mary has been known to do some stuff to me, after all I was six years younger. Let's not forget that!! But, I remember one time we were in the water. Mary said "open your mouth and close your eyes." And me, being the little dumb ass that I was did it!! She shoved a handful of muddy sand into my mouth!!! 'WHAT THE HELL" was that!!!!!! My Mother was not very happy with her. To this day I shall never forget it, along with the time she made me poop in the closet in my shoes! But What the Hell! Life is a beach. Sometimes, you go there in your mind! And, sometimes you are lucky enough to go there for real!!! I prefer the for real. But times are tough. So I go there in my mind!! Yesterday, I had a biopsy from the top of my nose. Just so you know, I have already had some cancer removed!!! This is a result of going there for real. So What the Hell!!!!! Life's a Beach, DIG IT! Oh, and, PS I love you Mary!!!!!!!!!!

LOVE

I was thinking of that "Beatles" song this morning. All you need is love, all you need is love, all you need is love, love, LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED!!!!!! How true is that!!!!! Love, like friends comes in so many ways. Sometimes it just smacks you down. It can be soft, hard, painful, joyful. Some of us have loved and lost, some have loved too many, some not enough. Some have loved one time and will never love like that again! Others just keep trying to find the right one. If you stand still and look around you find it there. Just put out your hand someone will hold it!!!! I was in the grocery store the other day, well I pretty much go there everyday, but that is another story. I saw this little old man with a can of soup in his hand. He was walking up and down the front of the store, and I might add that he did not walk very well. As I was checking out, I asked if I could leave my things I was concerned for the older gentleman. As I went over to him he bent his ear toward me, and said, "yes he was looking for his wife." It took about 10 min. or so until I found her. She was grateful said he could not hear very well. Hmm, ya think! Anyway, the reason I tell you this is because that felt so good! LOVE!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!

"SHIT"

Ok, so let us talk about "shit!" There many kinds. Bullshit, horse shit, dog shit, cat shit, holy shit, bird shit, rat shit, cow shit, people shit, baby shit. I could go on forever! In it's own way it is just that, shit! Now, you can shovel shit or you can hose shit, or you can wipe shit off. You can say BULLSHIT, or HOLY SHIT! It does not change, shit is shit! But "What the Hell" Why is there nothing that we can do with all this shit! I could be a billionaire if I could just figure out "what the hell" to do with shit!l I have a back yard full of horse shit! And, when my cat shits in the litter box, my husband gives me a whole ration of shit! If you step in dog shit, you scream holy shit!!!! How bout when a bird shits on your car??????? Who wipes that shit off? We can go to the moon but cannot figure out what to do with all this shit!!!!! What the hell. Now, my son is giving me shit! Sometimes I think that is the worse kind! "When you got to go you got to go!" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!

SEX

Ok "what the hell is this?" Why is it every time you get together with other couples the conversation always works its way to SEX! And it is always one of the men that gets it started! And then what the hell all the women chime in!!! The men never seem to think they get enough. What ever that is! And I think they think we don't like sex! What the hell is that?????? Who does not like it!!!!! Look at the animals! Somehow, I think of men when I see the animals! Always got to be humping on something! At my age I think that the men need not talk to loud about this! I mean lets face it it just is not quite the way it used to be. My friend said the other day "I remember when you could hand a towel on that thing" I thought about that for a minute! What the Hell, I remember that too. And truth be known I bet they remember those days too. Maybe that is why they talk about it so much. Kind of mourning the way things used to be. I say move forward. Stop talking about it, and just do it! One day I was sitting in the front yard with my friend. Her husband was cutting a tree down, and my husband was doing something on the other side of the street. I said to her "did you just have sex?" She said yes. I said me too. Amazing the power of the "pussy galour" right? We laughed, need to do it everyday, makes for very happy men. WHAT THE HELL!!

OPRAH WINFREY

It seems like forever that I have watched Oprah! LOVE HER! I so want to be her when I grow up! BUT, WHAT THE HELL? She is just going to leave us? With her I have learned to meditate, like myself, for myself, love others better. I have learned how to have a better sex life, she taught me about bio-identical hormones! (That saved my life!) Everyday, I say to someone did you see that on Oprah? Sometimes people look at me a little funny, but what the hell this lady is awesome!!! How bout the time she had on the Secret! Now, if that didn't make you think I do not know what will!!! I have become more spiritual cause of her, loved my animals more cause of her!!!! With all that she has it is as if I know her! I never got the opportunity to go see her live, I wanted to so bad! I e-mailed a few times, did not get a response. I guess my botched boob job, and the loss of a friend were not up there with so many others pain. But what the hell it is OK, I still love her!!! Maybe now that she is leaving TV, I can become her!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!! A legend in my own mind!!!!!!!!

KIDS!!!!!!!!

Good morning! Here is what I need to know! Why is it when you get a root canal, and it sucks so bad to get one never mind 30 of them! WHAT THE HELL is it when one goes "BAD"!! Does the tooth fairy come in and make it go bad?? And now you can pull the tooth, or re-root canal it or have surgery. Because you know that you do not want a big fat hoggin hole in your mouth!WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Ok, so, KIDS!!!! I would have had 50. Love them, begged my husband to adopt it was not his bag. So I just kept bringing home animals! Just so you know that is not his bag either but "What the hell" Now my son is 16 soon he will 17. I heard someone say once" if you could take teenagers to an island and leave them until they were 18 it would be great." HOW FREAKIN TRUE IS THAT!!!! It is so hard to be a teenager! But I am sorry, even harder to be the Mother of one!!!! My heart breaks almost everyday! NOW IF I HAD 50 I could share the pain! When I was pregnant I worried about 16 my Dr thought I was crazy. WHAT THE HELL DID HE KNOW! My baby was born butt 1st, vaginally, NO DRUGS! Again, I ask you what the hell did he know! This will pass, I know that, I just love him so much. God bless all the kids in the world!!!!!!!!!!! XOXO

"Friends"

Today is day two of my blog! For those of you that have never done this, "IT IS GOOD!" This morning I want to talk about friends. In our lives we all are blessed with friends. They come in all sizes, shapes, colors, and some can be complicated. You know very complicated! But we put them in our pockets and keep them forever. Even when we do not talk to them we still hold onto their memories. They are "Friends Forever." SOMETIMES WE MAKE BAD CHOICES! We think we know someone even when others say that we do not. "WHAT THE HELL!" After fifty years of being alive and being at peace with your choices you discover you were wrong. And it is hard. So you pick yourself up dust yourself off and move on! And along the way you find your real friends!!!! The ones that really count! The ones that love you no matter what!!!!! And when you open yourself up you find even more friends! So here is my rule of thumb on friendship! Keep them close but, do not let them rule your life! Love them with all of your heart, they will love you back! Learn to pick your own flowers, shovel you own shit, and be at peace! "WHAT THE HELL"

Where do I begin!

Today is January 12, 2010. I have decided to start a blog! This is a very good thing, I need to vomit on a regular basis if you know what I mean. Three years ago, after being born and raised in Miami for 50 years, my husband told me he wanted to make a change. Change is good! "What the Hell!" So without further conversation we followed our "Friends" and put our home on the market. We were "lucky" we sold right at the end of the beginning of all this crazy house market stuff. And we followed our "Friends" to a very, very, small town. Now all of this was very good. We had a 14 year old son that we wanted to raise in a better place! Our "Friends" were opening a business and I would have a good job, and all my husband had to do was transfer! We found a home where I could raise my animals, whom I Love! We were worried about our son. Finding new friends etc. He did GREAT!!!!!!! Plays football, found friends, and we were pleasantly surprised. As for me, well let's just say you know the old saying, Never work for friends." I have now been without a job since May of 2007. My family lives in Miami and my parents are 87, and 89. I travel one time per month to see them. Everyday there are so many things that I believe could be very, very funny! And sometimes when I tell my stories people do laugh out LOUD! So "WHAT THE HELL" here we go!!!!!!!!!!